When did you get caught short?

[stui magpie]

So headed up to Toc this morning. Called in the servo, grabbed some sandwiches and an ice coffee for brunch later on and a coffee for the start of the drive. Hit Kialla West and since there was a few big trucks heading down the truck route around Shep, I decided to go through town for a change, Good decision as it turned out.

Heading into the northern part of Shep, the guts started bubbling and there starts being some pressure down in the back passage area. There's a baby Carlton supporter down there struggling for freedom and threatening to burst out like that thing in the movie Alien bursts out of that persons chest.

45 minutes to Toc, I ain't going to make it. Start looking around, where to take a dump? Spot the northside Maccas. Their dunny's are usually at least cleaner than Servo dunny's, so quick U turn and into Maccas, straight to the dunny walking a tad stiff legged with the sphincter clenched so tight you couldn't drive a knitting needle up there, but the baby Carlton supporter wants out.

Into the mens dunny, I'm not a fan of public dunnys so went to grab some poo tickets to wipe down the seat before sitting, no dice. Tickets sold out. Fvck. Not good. Leave the mens and about to go into the disabled dunny, a woman beats me to it. Fvck. Now what. I could go back in, use the undies to wipe, flush them (which will block the dunny) and drive home Commando then burn the jeans, or I could go out and tell one of the bored Zillenials behind the counter that they're out of poo tickets in the Mens but the odds of any of them being able to process a request outside of the scope of what they're used to before they need to call a clean up crew is slim to none, so I walked over to the counter (I'm basically river dancing by now) and grabbed a hand full of serviettes and rushed back to the dunny.

baby Carlton supporter entered the world like a shotgun blast. Dunno if it was the coffee, the servo sangas or the ice coffee or a combination of all 3. Hopefully the next person in there lost their sense of smell due to Covid.

I did have some left over serviettes so I left them on top of the poo ticket dispenser in case the next person sits down before they realise the tickets are sold out.

So, when were you caught short and urgently needed to back one out with limited options?

[SLORT]

A chubby, short guy from El Salvador I worked with. He was in the electroplating section and had a few racks at a critical point in the tanks. If he left them then a few grands worth of product would've been shot. He had a bad case of diarrhea, stood their like a champ as it all came leaking out the ends of his coveralls. I didn't get the full show, but the smell afterwards...memorable.

[think positive]

I was driving to Denver from arches national park, Moab, and the overbearing self appointed asshole driving instructor thankfully fell asleep about 20 min in, so i turned down the radio and happily drove for another 2 hours, and it wakes up a bit past the aspen turn off. And goes into overdrive!! In the middle of his diatribe He said he needs to poop, look for a restroom! I see a turnoff and just take it, it goes nowhere, Hes now ranting and raving, i pull over on the grass and hop out, he hops out, " since you hate my driving im not driving anymore" him: "well im not driving" i chuck the keys forcefully and say "well im not driving and i dont need to poop!"