What made you sad today?

luvdids · Post by **luvdids** » Wed Sep 14, 2016 4:14 pm

This is fu.cked. And screw the swear filter. How do you cope? How do you not keep thinking of people that just die? Just like that?
How do you not be p1ssed off at the supermarket with people just picking cereal & veges when you just want to collapse in a heap? How does life just keep going when yours feels like it's over?
I'm sure it gets easier, that's what people say isn't it? I don't know how. Everything at home is a memory. One day I'm sure I'll smile at the memories everywhere but at the moment I just want to throw them all out.
Sorry, rant over. Nothing like an anonymous rant.

And thank you for all the kind words, it's so nice to get such kind thoughts & words from people that I've never met & don't know (other than a couple). It almost means more than from those I know, if that makes sense. I guess it's like - you don't know me, could easily skip to the next thread but took the time to leave a message. So thank you, sincerely. x

Post by **think positive** » Wed Sep 14, 2016 6:14 pm

/\ it's like time stands still for you, and you can't understand how everyone else keeps just living.
Truth is it does take time, and time does help. For a long time after I lost my mum I would just cry, driving, walking, sleeping, it just happened, and slowly, the good memories creep in, and you smile, it take a little while and you don't feel guilty smiling. And then it's been a while, and one day, the tears just come again.

Love doesn't die when the person does, you just keep loving, and that's ok. Crying, venting, asking why, yelling why, that's ok. It's emotion, living is emotion. I honour my mother every day by keeping going, that's what she would want, but still, I just want 5 more minutes, a hug, to tell her I'm sorry, I love you, I get it, and yes, goodbye....

Nobody gets to tell me how to grieve, it's not my pain, it's my way of still holding on to her. You do what you need to do, honey, it's never easy, but you will, I promise you, feel his memory in a good way again. Peace be with you. Take care of you xxxxx

Post by **stui magpie** » Wed Sep 14, 2016 6:23 pm

How do you cope? You just do. Badly at first but, and I know this is no comfort now, it does get easier.

Unfortunately people have to deal with sudden deaths all too frequently. That knock on the door from the Police to tell you your partner or child has been killed in an accident. I knew a bloke who dropped dead from a massive heart attack playing badminton at a church gathering, in front of his wife and children. 40 years old, vegetarian, didn't smoke or drink.

Life just isn't fair sometimes.

You will cope because you are strong, it just takes time to work through the cycle and everyone is different. Right now, it's fecking hard, and it may get harder before it starts to get better, but it will get better. With time.

If it's not too intrusive, do they know what happened yet?

mandy · Post by **mandy** » Wed Sep 14, 2016 6:38 pm

Just read this thread. So sorry for your loss, Chris. What a truly shitful thing to happen. I never know what words to say in these situations, I'm useless. But if I could I hope they'd be what Jo and Stui have said so beautifully.

Thinking of you. xx

luvdids · Post by **luvdids** » Wed Sep 14, 2016 6:50 pm

Thanks guys, again x

Stui, it seems as though he was having trouble breathing (very bad asthmatic) so called an ambulance. Collapsed unconscious before they arrived & his heart had stopped & no pulse. They gave a few adrenaline shots & got a pulse & took to hospital. At hospital focus was on the heart of course but his brain was swelling from the amount of adrenaline or the huge high BP (I think). The day after admission they did 2 neurological tests & neither showed any brain activity. Put dye into his system & none got through to his brain. Time of death was called after 2nd neurological test.
Basically it was lights out when he collapsed at home. No goodbyes no nothing, just gone.

I'm telling myself that this happens to people every day (losing someone suddenly) & that they get through it but so far it's not helping

Post by **stui magpie** » Wed Sep 14, 2016 7:06 pm

Thanks Chris,

Nothing will help for the time being except time. You have good family and friends to support you, let them. It's still way too soon for it to start getting easier, but it will.

KenH · Post by **KenH** » Wed Sep 14, 2016 9:27 pm

Reading all this makes me sad, lost a good mate last month just dropped dead from a heart attack at 52 years old. Life sucks sometimes.
Thinking of you Luvdids, as Stui says family and friends help!

Morrigu · Post by **Morrigu** » Sat Oct 08, 2016 9:52 pm

What a shite day

Had a call from a good friend - one of the best blokes I have ever met has passed away. Bull was a plumber but was a trainer at Footscray when my ex played there back in the 80's under Bluey - you know when trainers were tradies who volunteered their time and had the physique of Sumo wrestlers. when both sides met in the rooms after the games and shared a beer ( or 600

) and the trainers put on pleasant Sunday mornings and Super ( Steve McPherson) would always take to the stage to sing Starry starry night and the Hawk would be pissing himself laughing - we always tried to stop him joining in - could play but fck me he couldn't sing!!

Anyway I'm so glad he got to see the scraggers win the GF - funeral is Wednesday - he's a life member so I hope someone from the club will come to pay their respects (am sure they will).

And then I find out that a wonderful woman who has been such a good friend and mentor for many many years - a woman of great intelligence, wit and humour and as sharp as a tack has early onset dementia ( well that at least explains the unanswered calls and odd texts) and already they have taken her licence ( fair enough I understand but she was fiercely independent) - some things are worse than dying!

Just a shite day and just venting

KenH · Post by **KenH** » Sun Oct 09, 2016 6:47 am

Shit Morrigu! Life really isn't fair sometimes. We all need to enjoy our lives while we can, you never know what is around the corner! Dementia sucks!

luvdids · Post by **luvdids** » Sun Oct 09, 2016 2:31 pm

Sorry to hear all of that Morrigu, life sure sucks sometimes

Morrigu · Post by **Morrigu** » Sun Oct 09, 2016 8:59 pm

KenH wrote:Shit Morrigu! Life really isn't fair sometimes. We all need to enjoy our lives while we can, you never know what is around the corner! Dementia sucks!

So true Ken!! It's funny what you remember, she was such a great cook - I loved loved loved going to her place for lunch, for dinner yum yum yum - and now she can't make a cup of tea

Bastard thing

mandy · Post by **mandy** » Tue Oct 11, 2016 9:19 pm

My last Nan died today. And I'm so shattered.

Even though I knew it was time, and she's better for it, I'm shattered.

She was almost the best person I ever knew.

Skids · Post by **Skids** » Tue Oct 11, 2016 9:42 pm

That sucks Mandy, I know exactly how you feel.
Remember the good times, you have the memories forever.

HAL · Post by **HAL** » Tue Oct 11, 2016 9:46 pm

Don't worry I will remember.

Post by **think positive** » Tue Oct 11, 2016 9:49 pm

mandy wrote:My last Nan died today. And I'm so shattered.

Even though I knew it was time, and she's better for it, I'm shattered.

She was almost the best person I ever knew.

Ah that explains the wine.
Sorry for your loss honey.
Doesn't matter how old or sick they were, you still get to grieve their absence.
Thinking of you xxx

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What made you sad today?